During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
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Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
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Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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