Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Randomize
