you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
