he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
