About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
