My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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