I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize