in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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