I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
