also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I am naked and annoyed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize