We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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