honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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