I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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