Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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