In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
