HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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