this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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