i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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