So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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