Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
