So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
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Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
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I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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