why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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