My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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