I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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