she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
