so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
