Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
