"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
