I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
