i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
