the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
