i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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