Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
false alarm, still single
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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