i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
