The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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