I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
