I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
