Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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