For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
