my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
