yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
