She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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