he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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