I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's shark week go big or go home
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
