I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
