hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You need a sexual gate keeper
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
