if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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