You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
