He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
