i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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