Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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