Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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