non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
