My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors