so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"