I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
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Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"