marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.