just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The air was thick with penises
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
