After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
